"When you wear yellow
You turn on this fellow
My insides go jello
And makes me feel mellow"
So clichéd but he deserved the sloppy kisses I rained on his cheeks and ears right there in the post office.
But before we reached the post office, we were in the car, stopped at a zebra crossing, when this lady wearing a tight skirt walking by on the sidewalk a few metres ahead of us.
"Look at her panties. She's wearing granny panties. You see why you must wear thong?", Honey Lips tells me in his mr-know-it-all-voice.
"I'm a panty pervert. I like looking at women's panties. It's interesting to know what kind of panties they wear. Granny thongs!", he keeps on blaberring while I chuckle.
You ask why I didn't smash him on his head?
Well, first off, it's not the first time, my husband made his eldritch (he claims to be a mutant) fondness for panties be known to me. Secondly, I can't really slap him because uh, most of the times, I uh...wear his underwear.
Hold on! Let me explain!
Well Honey Lips hates speedos. One day, he was doing his own clothes-shopping when he mistakenly put two packs of speedos in the check-out basket. He hustles when he shops. When he reached home I saw the speedos and I was a bit surprised. He was surprised too. And you know he never wore 'em. He told me to 'pack it up'. What he means is 'put it in your underwear drawer'. I did. In the meantime I'm stocking up on thongs because I know how he loves them. Then came my period.
Uh huh...I'm out of granny panties and I'm a pad girl (I'm not ashamed of that!) so of course I saw the speedos. Plus, they are in dark colors. Better for me. They are so comfy! When I would be home alone, I would have nothing else on but my speedo. Sometimes, I wear 'em even after my period is done!
So yeah, I can't admonish him for his guilty pleasure because of my own nasty secret. Which is not a secret anymore.
Now you can laugh at me!
Name: Johana Hill
